Godiva

I've decided that whatever chocolate I ate for the day whenever I post up a new entry will be the title post of said entry. ^^

Ah, suddenly I have a ton of things to say that I'd like to post up here. xD But I'd have to pick and choose.

(goddamn, pressing enter for a new paragraph in this blog-writing-layout-thing is a huge fucking PAIN am I the only one experiencing this???)

For instance, I like to be honest. I really do. I don't mean I haven't told a single lie in my life (because that in itself would be lying). I just mean, I like being honest and open. It calls for less complications, and it's less stressful.

The catch, as I suppose you could call it, is that while I like being honest and open, I also like a space that is only for myself for when I'd have enough of the world and would like a short reprieve. And that includes anyone that I remotely like; even if I absolutely love you, when I get in those moods, I would like a break from your presence. xD I would come back eventually, but leave me alone for that while. (Whenever that happens, think about the song Leave Me Alone (I'm Lonely) by Pink.)

And so, because of this, I like to choose what I lay out in the open. Doesn't mean every other thing that comes out of my mouth is a lie. It means that whatever I'm comfortable divulging, I will divulge, sometimes to the point of TMI, but whatever I'd like to keep to myself, I keep quiet about -- and if you ask me about it, I would either tell you outright that I don't want to tell it to anyone, shrug and change the subject, or just continue to keep quiet (I know this is annoying, I do; but still I do it xD).

So you know, I guess I'm really not that open. xD; I choose what to be honest about to people; usually if I think it'll offend them, or if I think they wouldn't like it, wouldn't approve, or is detrimental to their religious belief, I'd keep quiet and won't tell them. It saves me from lying, and saves me from having to tell the truth.

This also doesn't mean that I don't trust my closest friends or my family. ...Or I guess it does, to an extent. This is why I'm a suspicious bitch. XD

And sooooo, even if this is a blog where I can put whatever I want on here, I don't feel comfortable putting everything. Even if I'm aching to rant, if I think it's too personal, I probably won't. I'll probably do it elsewhere. In code. Where no one would ever set their eyes on it.

Hell, I have three other blogs, and I don't put everything on there either. I guess the only one where I put almost everything on is tumblr and eljay. Sometimes, though, I still don't, because I feel self-conscious. XD I would probably even delete this post in the future, if I think I got too open about it. But for now this stays, because I need to sort out some issues and I really wanted to rant. XP